iGod
iGod. repenting made easy. thx tmbo. 🙂
one conversation i had with god
Me:
hi gid
God:
Hi there . How old are you?
Me:
12
God:
Oh, you were born in the 20th century!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can’t believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
“it” being gid?
Me:
only on thursdays
God:
What is it like on thursdays.
Me:
nothing is like it on thursdays
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
really
God:
For real.
Me:
for fake
God:
Your purpose is fake.
Me:
obviously
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
you
God:
” What makes it so obvious?”? Me, ?
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
smoke some more pot
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
abraham
God:
I’m pleased to introduce myself to you, abraham.
Me:
likewise
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
tell me about heaven
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is heaven ?
Me:
who is heaven
God:
They are sometimes a client on the internet.
I haven’t heard of heaven.
Me:
what is heaven
God:
The space surrounding or seeming to overarch the earth, in which the sun, moon, and stars appear; visible sky. Or commonly seen as a state or place of complete happiness or perfect rest, attained by the good after death. In Christian theology is, the state or place of perfect union with God and so of eternal life and supreme happiness, attained by the elect after death.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
fuck off
God:
Can’t you be more polite?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
positive
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
asstacular
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
and so much more
God:
Ah. That’s all I have to say about it.
Me:
where do babies come from?
God:
Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.
Me:
what about hookers?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
so 1875
God:
Yikes! What kind of food do you like?
Me:
mexican
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
it is
God:
It is, eh?
Me:
clearly
God:
Yes, it’s obvious.
Me:
obviouso
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
i have an itch
God:
Where did you get it ?
Me:
a tree
God:
What is it?
Me:
i don’t know
God:
Me either.